Blog, Rooted,

A Wedding & A New Season

A New Parent

The day we brought my first child home from the hospital was filled with terror and apprehension. I had never felt such an overwhelming responsibility, and she was fragile and needy. On the drive home from the hospital, I gasped at intersections with oncoming cars, worried that someone might crash into us. I cautioned my husband, “Slow down. You’re going too fast.”

That baby survived the drive home from the hospital. Today, she gives medical treatment to people who seek healing at the hospital ER where she works. As we moved from caregiver to friend in this journey, we became her cheerleader on the sidelines.

(I wrote about celebrating those milestones in her life, here.)

1995

A Wedding

Seasons change.

This weekend, my daughter will marry the love of her life, and we will celebrate with them in a small ceremony. She and her husband will create a new family, The ceremony that formalizes a marital bond between them also formalizes an official letting go for us.

2017

A New Role

We’ve been letting go in small increments for 2 decades. As our children grew, our role in their lives changed. Bob Hostetler explains the changing roles of a parent in his article, “The Four Phases of Parenthood:”

  • Commander (birth to about 6 years old). It’s the stage when parents must help the child with everything, serving as a benevolent dictator.
  • Coach (about 6 to 12 years old). It’s the stage when parents begin shifting decisions and responsibilities to the child with guidance.
  • Counselor (the teen years). It’s the stage when a child learns to make decisions on her own and becomes independent.
  • Consultant (adulthood). It’s the stage when parents let the child go, and she becomes their friend.

Parenting is hard. Every parent needs to hear this encouragement: “Relax, There’s Not One Right Way to Do This.”

A New Season

I’ve been playing the song “Landslide” on repeat. I’m not sure why. Some of you may remember Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nick’s soulful voice. These lyrics have been on my mind this month as I anticipate the change of seasons.

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm

Chorus:
Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too

“Landslide,” written by Stevie Nicks (1975)

As a parent, I have grieved the passing of a season, like when she went to first grade or college. Then, I face a new one, ready to embrace its challenges and sweet gifts.

In this change, I’m staying rooted in the simple faith that Jesus never changes,

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Hebrews 13:8 NASB

And, my Father God has good things in store in this new season, too,

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

James 1:17 NASB

Stay Rooted in Jesus

Roots that grow deep into Jesus. Lives built on Him.

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Colossians 2:7 NLT

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04 comments

writer

Daily, the power of stories amazes me–moves me, shapes me–an ordinary wife, mom, teacher, writer, Jesus-follower.

4 Comments

Gretchen

Jayne, I needed to read your words today. Olivia is getting married on June 8 and I am feeling so many of the feelings you have described. Thank you for sharing and Congrats and enjoy every minute!

Reply

Jayne Walters

Gretchen, thanks for stopping by the blog & for sharing your comments. From one mom who is letting go to another mom, “You’ve got this!” And we’ll feel grateful for the tears, too. Congratulations to you and your sweet Olivia!

Reply

Patricia Brennan

Congratulations, Jayne and Dave, as parents of the bride. I fondly remember your own wonderful wedding. Not only is your elder daughter your friend, but now you will also have a new son-in-law for a friend. Blessings to you and to Jessica and her beloved as they begin their life together! Love from Patty and Mike Brennan

Reply

Jayne Walters

Patty, thank you for your wishes. We are thrilled to welcome Luke into our family. And, can you believe we’ve been married for 30 years this August?

Reply

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