Lately, I feel stripped of my strengths. My weaknesses are all I can see. They are as obvious as neon-pink pants. They are as visible as a strand of toilet paper trailing from my shoe. They are the waiver in my voice when my best friend calls and asks, “How are you doing today?” They are the me that I try to forget and hide behind a smile, nice clothes, or good manners.
The weaknesses leaked out in the midst of our home renovation project. Living out of a suitcase for nine weeks. Cleaning up drywall dust from construction. Enduring late nights.
Pettiness–I need my space.
Impatience–I need this to be done on my time table.
Self-reliance–I don’t want to depend on others.
Anxiety–I don’t like chaos I can’t control.
The human me is prone to complaining, controlling, and criticizing. An unmasked, ugly human inside.
We live in the space between two oceans: pure rottenness and pure grace. Humanness, lived out in the space between two natures.
Grace made of Love so kind and gentle and forgiving.
Here’s the problem. We might not notice Grace on our good days. Our clever days. Our every-one-is-applauding-us days. But on the days when we cry out honestly for help. When we are sinking–someone hurt us or tragedy caught us by surprise. Or in this mess I call my life.
Grace is there.
It is in the strength to keep going when I am weak and tired.
It is in a beautiful or grateful thought when my mind is critical.
It is in the knowing we are preferred by Him.
It is in the knowing we are loved by Him. Really loved.
We discover greater depths of grace when we discover greater depths of sin. I don’t want those circumstances that reveal my other nature, but I do want Grace to transform me.
Jesus, throw me a line and rescue me out of the swirling ocean that is my sin.
I’m diving into Grace.
Kari Jobe – “You are for Me.”